PICTURE-PERFECT OR BIBLE-PERFECT?
If you were to choose between a shaky marriage with aesthetically pleasing pictures and trending wedding hashtags or a not-so-trendy but solid marriage, which would you rather have? One of the two, or maybe both, the hybrid style?
What You Know
Today, the trends of social media have become the benchmark for most married and intending couples. Many have shifted their expectations of their partners based on the pictures of marriage portrayed online by their favourite relationship influencers or celebrity couples. The glitzy, picture-perfect, curated videos have overshadowed the reality of many while neglecting the divine purpose of marriage.
Also, many aspiring couples now judge the future of their marital destiny by the trends of social media. The media couple’s goals have become the yardsticks for their marriages, neglecting the divine/biblical standard.
What You Probably Didn’t Know
Research from celebrity divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd-Platt shows that celeb marriages are 75% shorter than the national average and are twice as likely to get divorced. The average celebrity union lasts just 7.4 years, compared to 32 years for the average marriage. An infamous marriage in the US lasted just four days. Yes, four days!
Increased pressure, lack of quality time together and living life in the spotlight are the biggest factors in the increased rates of divorces amongst celebrities.
Celebrity divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd-Platt said:
Celebrity marriages often end early. The reason for this is simple and is often referred to by divorce practitioners as ‘competing ego syndrome’.
In another study by Harry Benson and Rehna Azim (2016), they found that the celebrity divorce rate over the first fourteen years of marriage is 50%, double the current UK divorce rate over the same period of 25%.
As you read this, you can probably name a few of those celebrity marriages in your locality that started glamorously but now hit the rocks.
Does this mean that all celebrity marriages are doomed to fail? Most certainly not.
Celebrities who have decided to make the Word of God their standard will always have their marriages stand the test of time. There are numerous genuine testimonies to this.
What You Should Know
While aspiring to have a glamorous wedding and marriage is not unbiblical, it becomes an erroneous issue when we decide to toss the Bible aside before, during or after the wedding and decide to do marriage by the standards of the world. Let’s switch from the glam for the gram to the Word that endures.
The Bible remains the compass for insight into the world of godly marriages, and marriage ordained by God is sacred.
Marriage remains a sacred institution that continues to shape society if it’s governed by divine standards. It is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman to reflect the union of Christ and the church.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. – Ephesians 5:22
There are standpoints that Biblical marriages portray in the scriptures. They explored the triumphs and tribulations of Biblical couples and uncovered the secrets to their success. From the intimacy of Adam and Eve to the wisdom of Ruth and Boaz. Beyond the glam for the gram, let’s consider some of them and identify lessons applicable to marriages today.
1. Adam and Eve
This was the first marriage in the Bible that set the tone for all others. Adam and Eve’s relationship was built on open communication, trust, and mutual respect. In Genesis 2:24, it was established that “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, becoming one flesh.” This union is built on effective communication, an essential ingredient for any successful marriage. When miscommunication seeps into a marriage, it has a devastating effect.
2. Ruth & Boaz
Ruth, a Moabite, and Boaz, an Israelite, defied cultural norms to build a life together. Their love story teaches us that true love knows no cultural boundaries and that kindness, respect, and loyalty can bridge even the widest of gaps. (Ruth 3:10)
3. Hosea & Gomer
Forgiveness for a godly home to thrive.
Hosea’s marriage to Gomer was marked by heartbreak and betrayal. Yet, he chose to forgive and restore her, illustrating the power of unconditional love. In Hosea 3:1-3, God commanded Hosea to love Gomer again, despite her infidelity, demonstrating the importance of forgiveness in marriage.
4. Abraham & Sarah
Faith, Partnership and Teamwork
Abraham’s and Sarah’s marriage faced many trials and tribulations, but they supported each other through everything. In Genesis 21:1-8, we see how their faith in God and dedication to their marriage led to God’s promise through the birth of Isaac. Even when the union between Hagar and Abraham that produced Ishmael occurred, it was because Sarah and Abraham both agreed to it. When Hagar was sent away, it was still based on their mutual agreement. This story emphasises the importance of faith in God, as well as partnership and teamwork in marriage. However, working together against what is right or godly is never justified.
Lessons from the Past for the Present
While the context of biblical marriages may differ from our own, the principles that governed their relationships remain timeless. By applying these lessons to your own, you can build a strong, healthy marriage that honours God and brings joy to your partner.
Remember:
- Communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
- Love transcends cultural and societal backgrounds.
- True love forgives.
- Tribulations may come, but stay together through faith in Christ to overcome them.
Got questions or contributions, or want to share your thoughts on this piece? Let’s meet in the comments section.
*References
Benson, H., & Azim, R. (2016). Celebrity divorce rates. Marriage Foundation. https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/MF-note-Celebrity-divorces-FINAL.pdf
Lloyd-Platt, V. (n.d.). Celebrity Marriages Last Just 7.4 Years on Average. Divorce Solicitors. https://www.divorcesolicitors.com/celebrity-marriages-last-just-7-4-years-on-average/