Your healing begins here.
A prominent speaker once said:
“You cannot compartmentalise pain. Even if you suppress or pretend it does not exist, it will eventually resurface if not properly dealt with.”
When you hear the word “trauma,” you might immediately think of an accident, a robbery, or even molestation. While those may be true, trauma often has deeper layers. More often than not, it stems from adverse childhood experiences that shape our thoughts and influence our daily decisions in ways we may not even realise. Trauma is a psychological reaction to pain; it is your mind saying, “This is too much for me to bear.”
When you go through trauma, especially as a child, your brain and body naturally react to it as a survival mode. Gradually, these reactions, like fear, anxiety, unhealthy habits, and many more, become ingrained patterns that follow you into adulthood. As you grow older, they don’t just disappear; they often resurface when you are stressed or when something reminds you of the past.
At first, you may not realise the impact, but over time, it can resurface in your behaviour, self-esteem, and relationships, influencing how you perceive yourself and the world around you. You cannot outrun trauma with achievements. Your career is not a refuge; even the most accomplished individuals can still struggle with unresolved emotional wounds. It is best to confront and heal from them before it’s too late.
To dive deeper into this, let’s explore some common signs of trauma and emotional baggage that often manifest in adulthood.
i) Unresolved Anger and Aggression.
Joyce Meyer’s journey from pain to purpose is proof that personal struggles can lead to growth and empowerment. As a teenager, she endured repeated abuse at the hands of her father, a trauma that deeply affected her adult life. She struggled with anger, mood swings, and emotional instability. After a while, she realised she had been viewing life through the lens of pain and decided to embrace God’s healing power. Slowly but surely, what seemed like a disadvantage became a source of strength, a channel through which God now reaches and restores others. Today, Joyce Meyer is a renowned writer and preacher dedicated to helping people heal from hurt and trauma. If you have been through a similar challenge, or even worse, her story is proof that there is purpose in your pain. What happened to you is not as powerful as the perspective you give to it. Don’t allow that painful experience to break you, but shape you into becoming a better person.
ii) Money Mismanagement Issues.
Are you aware that your spending habits can sometimes be linked to past traumatic experiences? For some people, they feel they must work tirelessly to earn money, while others may have an unconscious aversion to it, feeling they don’t deserve it. This could stem from the management mentality that was infused in them during childhood, and if not addressed, this mindset can continue to influence their decisions. Remember, you cannot attract what you consistently reject.
iii) Negative Self-Love.
Some of the women who mess up their bodies or go into relationships with older men are not necessarily looking for sex or money, but a kind of connection to fill the void they feel on the inside. This could be a result of the absence of a father figure in their lives. But on the contrary, true love can only be found in Christ because God is love (1 John 4:16), and He alone knows how to love you best. He is the only one who can fill the emptiness in your heart.
Some Other Signs of Trauma Include:
Depression, trust issues, difficulty letting go of work or people (attachment/detachment issues), drug abuse and addiction, and untamed sexual desires, to mention a few. However, addressing the root causes of emotional scars is key to breaking the cycle, allowing individuals to build healthier relationships and live more fulfilling lives.
Practical Steps on How to Deal with Trauma
1. Identify the Traumatic Experience(s) You are Faced with.
Simply changing relationships or locations will not do any good. The root cause must be dealt with. It is better to work on the baggage you carry now than allow it to control your life later. Do not numb your pain; instead, face it and deal with it.
2. Forgive.
Forgiveness is a choice to love rather than a demand for justice. No matter how talented or competent you are, the degree to which you forgive will determine the pace at which you move in life. Choose to forgive those who have hurt you, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace and to remove all obstacles on your path to progress.
3. Trust God for Your Healing.
When you hit rock bottom, it is not a time to turn away but a time to fix your gaze on God and ask for help. Instead of sharing your struggles with people who may hurt you further, turn to God; He is the one who can truly help. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).
No hurt is too deep, no shame is too heavy, and no word is too damaging for God’s grace to overcome. In Him, you can find the courage to rise above your past and step into the fullness of who you were created to be. (2 Cor. 12:9)
4. Embrace Your New Identity in Christ
The healing journey is not about denying your pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about bringing your brokenness to the One who heals, restores, and redeems. It’s about trading the weight of your past for the freedom of God’s promises. In Christ, you are a new creation, and to see your identity revealed, you must live rooted in the Word, not in your pain.
