Knowing When to Encourage and When to Step Back
‘Talented!’ ‘Gifted!’ ‘Creative!’ are all words we love to hear when people talk about children. There’s a unique pride that comes with seeing your child express themselves in specific areas like dancing, drawing, singing, science, sports, etc.
One thing to never forget as parents is that creativity is not random. Creativity is in itself a core trait of God, as He is, first and foremost, a Creator. (Genesis 1) And in the same vein, He placed within us the same desire to imagine, build, and make things new in different expressions. That includes your children.
But what happens when all that talent, gift, and creativity begin to clash with the life you envisioned for them? What if their dreams don’t look like the “safe” and “structured” plan you hoped they’d follow? How do you strike a balance between being supportive and being wise enough to raise them in godly ways without sacrificing their creative spirit?
You should encourage when:
1. It brings joy and life to your child
If your child’s creative pursuit brings them deep joy (and not just fleeting excitement), it may be something God is using to shape their heart and character.
2. It helps them process their world
Creative expression is often a child’s way of making sense of what they feel, think, or see. There are various examples of children learning to make sense of their emotions or events with drawing or writing even before they can say those words out loud.
3. It encourages others
Whether it’s a song sung in church, a drawing that inspires people, or a story that points to Christ. Your child’s creativity can become a ministry, and with proper guidance, such creativity can be taught to align with God’s will or with the propagation of God’s Word.
4. It aligns with Godly values
Not all ‘creative’ expression is holy or edifying, so this is where discernment matters. Philippians 4:8 gives us a filter for all things we engage in as believers, and this can also be a guideline for creative hobbies: is it true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable? Teach your child to create with these values in mind.
You should put a check when:
1. It becomes a source of pride or comparison
If your child begins to see their gifts as a reason to boast or belittle others, it may be time to teach humility (Romans 12:3) and remind them that all gifts come from God. Parents often fall into the trap of comparing one child to another, and this is also a time for them to step back and take a breath. Too much comparison can put too much pressure on a child and lead to anger and rebellion.
2. It disrupts responsibilities
Creativity doesn’t excuse a lack of discipline. If drawing late into the night affects schoolwork or chores, boundaries must be set to avoid creating negative habits like procrastination and laziness. 1 Corinthians 14:40 – “Let all things be done decently and in order.”
3. It isolates them from healthy relationships
Some kids may retreat too far into their own imaginative world that they are deficient in forming healthy relationships in the real world and are drawn away from a relationship with God. To avoid this, encourage social balance and accountability.
4. It exposes them to harmful influences
In this digital age, children often find inspiration and interests online, but not all sources are godly or safe. It is safe to say that information online is easily accessible. As a parent, it is better to stay informed about ways to curb online wormholes that children are likely to fall into, ask questions, and help them cultivate discernment between positive and negative.
Fostering creativity is about recognising God’s fingerprints on the lives of the children in your care and being sensitive enough to know the best course of action to take in their journey to fulfilling God’s plans for them.
Invite the Holy Spirit into your parenting journey, so you know daily the wisdom to know when to cheer your child on and when to set healthy limits. Stay curious about your child. And trust that as you raise them with the help of God, the gifts in your children will bloom in the right season.