It Isn’t Easy, But It’s Possible.

What Do You Do When Forgiveness Feels Like Injustice?

Consider these scenarios: 

1. A young, promising man at the upper echelon of his career was set up at work by his closest friend, causing him to lose his job and make a dent in his career. 

2. A man who jilted a lady after promising heaven and earth.

3. A lady who finally met her father’s murderer.

4. A lady who was set up by her friend to be raped because of jealousy and envy. 

How easy will it be to tell these ones to forgive their offenders and let go? Pretty easy. But how easy will it be for them to actually forgive and let go? It won’t be easy. People often say it’s not easy to let bygones be bygones, and truly, it isn’t… But it’s not impossible. 

Here are some tips to help:

First things first, be honest with yourself. Don’t deny the reality of your pain; rather, acknowledge it. Admitting that you’ve been hurt is the first step to healing, but denying the hurt only deepens the wound.

Another important step is learning to accept the pain and grow from it. Ask yourself: What happened? Why did it happen? Is it worth staying angry over? Is it truly unforgivable or unforgettable? Was I at fault in any way?

Consider the case of Joseph. He didn’t just forgive his brothers; he forgot their offence and welcomed them into his life again. Another example is Esau. I once thought he would never forgive Jacob after all he did to him, but Esau chose peace over revenge. In both cases, forgiveness didn’t change their past, but it changed their future.

Now to our perfect example, Jesus Christ. He let go of the hurt caused by humanity. The very people He came to save demanded His death. Luke 23:34 – “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” If He could forgive His persecutors and executioners, what excuse do we have?

Let’s explore three key roles of forgiveness in helping a Christian live a wholesome life.

– Forgiveness helps you live in peace.

What is life without peace? A feeling of constant restlessness—that’s exactly what unforgiveness causes—it steals your peace. Whenever you hold someone in your heart, your mind becomes a battlefield. You ruminate over what they did, replay scenes, and even imagine outcomes. The more you dwell on it, the more your peace is altered. You may smile outwardly, but internally, you’re imprisoned. Forgiveness sets you free! 

– Forgiveness safeguards your mental health. 

Unforgiveness is one of the silent burdens that destabilise a person’s mental health. When you hold on to offences, it occupies your mind, therefore affecting your growth, rest, and clarity. As a believer, don’t allow the devil to rob you of your spiritual and mental strength because of the pain caused by others. Unforgiveness doesn’t just harm relationships; it can destroy lives. Proverbs 17:22 – “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

– Forgiveness helps you live a bitterness-free life.

Bitterness is a seed; it grows when nurtured. Over time, it produces fruits like anger, wrath, hatred, and hostility. If left unchecked, it can lead to grievous sins such as murder. You see the person who hurt you, and the feeling of hatred rises, and then your mind starts to craft ways to retaliate. This is the great danger of harbouring pain. Instead, filter every offence through the sufficiency of God’s grace and sovereignty. Heb. 12:15 – “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness spring up, trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”

You’re not alone on this journey. The Holy Spirit strengthens every believer to forgive and let go, so don’t hesitate to ask for His help. Others have received freedom, and by God’s grace, you can too.